People have to understand that
anyone can do evil things. Some people
might think that only German Nazis in the 2nd World War could be
bad, or Russians under Stalin. The fact
is that evil is part of human nature.
When bad things happen to us, we can say we’ll never do that ourselves
or we can go down the other path and repeat what we have experienced. No one is above good or evil, and we all have
the capacity for good and evil. I know
myself, I’ve done things I am ashamed of; I hasten to add I’ve not killed
anyone or done anything bad to any human being, but I know that I have the
capacity for evil and I also have the capacity for good. Most of us aren’t going to commit the
atrocities of Hitler or Stalin, but as we are two steps away from good, we are
also two steps away from evil.
I bore grudges, heavy grudges,
against women I perceived had rejected me in some way, especially after
chatting to them in pubs and nightclubs, really hating them and being deeply
resentful; and really, I was supposed to be a Christian. Supposed to be at any rate. I hasten to add, I never beat a woman or
anything like that, but often I was filled with hatred for the opposite sex. It has clouded my judgement about women for a
long time. I am slowly learning to see
that women, like men, are just human beings; some women are no doubt unpleasant
and treat men appallingly, but some men are also unpleasant and treat women
appallingly too. And of course, many men
and women are decent people; in the last ten years of my life I have valued
simple friendships, of both men and women, and come to understand that all
people are complex, we have complex relationships, we are complex emotionally
and we live in a fallen world full of unhappiness and certainly full of
misunderstandings. We need love, all of
us, but because we’ve been hurt, especially in this area, we become prickly and
over cautious, we stop trusting people, and often men learn to hate women and
women learn to hate men, because of the occasional unhappy experiences we all
get now and again. Most of us aren’t
evil, we are just hurting somewhat; with the love of Jesus we can get over the
worst of experiences and have a healthy and balanced outlook on the opposite
sex, and indeed towards all the people in our lives. I have made some great female friends, as
well as male friends, in the blogosphere, women who are Godly and decent and
whose opinions and judgements I both need and highly respect.
Being obedient to God’s will
means we please Him, we won’t come to any real harm and we are being good. It was disobedience in the very first
instance that set God against man, and caused a rift thereafter between most of
humankind and God. The sin we do that
displeases God merely follows on from being disobedient. People must remember this. Like many people, I have a struggle in my
life. My struggle involves the idea that
I must be celibate as a Christian. I
struggle with this, as often I see women all around me who I like, all
different types of women, tall, short, red haired, brunettes, blondes, green
eyed, brown eyed, black women, white women, American women, British women,
Irish women, Italian women… well you get the picture; there are indeed lots of
lovely women everywhere; and so little time!!!
Hey, I’m joking! But my joke is
getting at a serious point. God I
believe implicitly and explicitly wants us to be married, to one partner, of the
opposite sex, for life; one sexual partner, for life. For many people, this seems almost an
impossibility; the rich, the powerful and the famous, often have multiple
marriages, simply because they can afford to quite frankly. The rest of us, who live in that stark
reality called the real world, often have little option. But what is God telling us through all this;
firstly, He is to be obeyed quite simply.
Secondly, marriage is an institution that in no way is meant to be taken
lightly; you marry someone, you marry someone you love in all ways, someone you
like and someone who is also your ‘best mate’, as we say in England. Thirdly, love is more than marriage, much
more than sex, it is holistic, that is, it is all-encompassing; we love
completely the person we want to marry, not just because they are a good match
or because they are wealthy.
I am still single, with no
girlfriend on the horizon, but I am confident that when the right time comes,
when God is also ready, He has prepared for me the perfect person, even if I
have to go on a few dates; well such is life.
I’m in no hurry though.
The Gay Issue
You may say as a gay person ‘I
don’t believe in God anyway so why does being gay matter to Him, if He
exists?’ Well, God might have a calling
on your life, He might have called you specifically to be His servant, to live
as a Christian. If this is so, sooner or
later, your life will unravel like the ancient Israelites lives unravelled when
they refused to take God at His Word, and you might wonder why. I wish to say this is the first time I have
written about the gay issue, and I think that even some good Christians go on
about it too much, when all sin is abhorrent to God, not just the gay
lifestyle. I don’t particularly have an
axe to grind here either, because two people living together in a gay or
lesbian relationship is not going to harm me one way or the other, but I wanted
to make a point. Living in any kind of
sin, especially if God has a calling on your life, is going to catch up with
you; sooner or perhaps later. We should
never be smug about our own perceived ‘perfection’, and other people’s
imperfect sinful lives; sometimes we need to examine ourselves first before
pointing fingers at others. Sin isn’t
just the thing we do that is wrong, it is more importantly because we disobey
God in the first place. If you are
struggling in any way with this particular issue, or any other issue for that
matter, then you are not alone. As I
explained, I struggle with the idea of celibacy a whole lot, as a straight guy
incidentally, and like most men I think about sex often. I’m not married and so remain celibate, but I
sometimes feel like I am missing out.
Yet I found, in my wild days, that loveless sexual encounters left me
feeling empty and never fulfilled. I
have learnt a lesson.
If we are to condemn sin as
genuinely concerned Christians, then we must focus on all sin, and focus on
disobedience as the beginning of all sin.
Also, we might understand that no matter how perfect a Christian we think
we are, we are all capable of sinning and doing something wrong. It is just when we think that we have no sin,
that this is exactly the time when we might need to examine ourselves more
closely. ‘Do you not realise that people who do evil will never inherit
the kingdom of God? Make no mistake -- the sexually immoral, idolaters,
adulterers, the self-indulgent, sodomites, thieves, misers, drunkards,
slanderers and swindlers, none of these will inherit the kingdom of God. Some of you used to be of that kind: but you
have been washed clean, you have been sanctified, and you have been justified
in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and through the Spirit of our God.’ (1 Corinthians 6:9-11 NJB)
Judging Others
The society we live in, the
graded hierarchical ones like Britain and America, and many others besides, are
often also highly judgemental; the poor, the marginalised, those living in
rundown areas, the chronically long-term unemployed are there not because of a
skewed social system or double standards, but because they deserve it! I hope you detect my irony?! It seems one of the ways those who exploit
other people 'get away with it', is by blaming those they exploit for their own poverty. It’s a neat trick that enables people with
little conscience to get away with injustice whilst they make themselves
wealthy. ‘Listen, my dear brothers: it was those who were poor
according to the world that God chose, to be rich in faith and to be the heirs
to the kingdom which he promised to those who love him. You, on the other hand, have dishonoured the
poor. Is it not the rich who lord it over you? Are not they the ones who drag you into court,
who insult the honourable name which has been pronounced over you? Well, the right thing to do is to keep the
supreme Law of scripture: you will love your neighbour as yourself; but as soon
as you make class distinctions, you are committing sin and under condemnation
for breaking the Law.’
(James 2:5-9 NJB) So it’s right
there, in black and white; those who make class distinctions, far from being
the great and the good, are adding more sin and injustice to the world. Yes, every poor and oppressed person wants to
see that. Yet again, God is bringing to book
the system many of us live under and showing it up for the illusion that it
really is. What is the answer to those
who exploit others, or just look down their noses on other people? ‘Do not judge, and you will not be judged; because the judgements you give
are the judgements you will get, and the standard you use will be the standard
used for you.’ (Matthew
7:1-2 NJB) The world, and many people in
it, often make all sorts of unjust distinctions between people, for their own
selfish reasons. It is to be understood
that what goes around, may very well come around. Christians should not judge other people for
any reason.
Finally, each day God wants us to choose
Him. ‘'Look,
today I am offering you life and prosperity, death and disaster. If you obey the commandments of Yahweh your
God, which I am laying down for you today, if you love Yahweh your God and
follow his ways, if you keep his commandments, his laws and his customs, you
will live and grow numerous, and Yahweh your God will bless you in the country
which you are about to enter and make your own.
But if your heart turns away, if you refuse to listen, if you let
yourself be drawn into worshipping other gods and serving them, I tell you
today, you will most certainly perish; you will not live for long in the
country which you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess. Today, I call heaven and earth to witness
against you: I am offering you life or death, blessing or curse. Choose life…'’
(Deuteronomy 30:15-19 NJB)
This was yet another great post Tim, I love your honesty in this post on topics people like to avoid, most Christians avoid them or some who do address them do it in an unloving unwise way.
ReplyDeleteThese are topics I go on about, mostly celibacy, most people think being celibate is old school. We live in a time where not having sex is alien, we're aliens. But like Paul I have learned to be content in whichever state I am in. And God said that if we endure certain thing's, I suppose resisting sex is something we need endurance for, if we endure these struggles and resist them, God finds these thing's commendable, if the reason we resist these thing's is because our conscience is towards Him.
I have no husband or boyfriend and to be comepletly honest my mind doesn't go on that very much, although yesterday when I was watching "A walk to rememebr" I thought about marriage, romantic movies tend to do that to women lol, and being that this is Feburary I'm sure there will be tons of romantic movies floating around the tv world lol. Also whenever I become frineds with Christian guys who have qualities I like I start fantasizing about marriage, I guess it's a girl thing. I've started to cut down on it though lol.
I look at my life when it comes to being in a relationship like this, if God wills that I be married I welcome it because I know His will is good acceptable and perfect, but if He wills that I remain unmarried I know that I will not pine away in lonliness, going on and on about my biology clock ticking or whatever that clock is older women go on about lol. I love seeing happpy couples but I don't envy them, sometimes we think what is best for us is what we see others with but we could be very wrong.
You talked about the "gay issue" and it struck a chord within me, because that was my struggle from a teenager. I was so caught up in being a lesbian that I began to not care what others think and I believed it was the life I was suppose to live. But I can't explain how, but I started to wonder about life, about God, and it hit me, that life I was living, the gay life, was not in alignment with God's plan for my life.
I was saying that even when I didn't even know God, but when people asked me why I became a Christian, why I'm denouncing homosexuality, I told them it wasn't the life God had planned for me. I was right, it was that very same life, or I should say death because if i was truthful the way I was living could hardly be considered life.
When you mentioned in your post that perhaps God has a Christian life planned for a gay person and they might not know it, I said to myself that is true because I have lived it, I'm living it.
Honestly I don't struggle with it really, dreams plague me, but they never become reality. I don't lust after women anymore, and if I feel I'm getting a little to close with a female and she might be considered remotely attractive to my flesh, I back away a bit, even if no feelings are there, I don't want to make provisions for my flesh to leap all over the idea of being with that woman, honestly thinking about it now makes me wanna cringe.
I am truly free Tim, I know this and testify this in the name of Jesus, wo indeed is my savior. God has set me free from a life of sinfulness, from a life of blindness. I love Him, I really do. I am grateful for Him saving me, so thing's like celibacy are nothing to me,I truly don't think of sex very often most times not at all, as incredible as that may be to believe, not many 27 year olds don't think about sex. Although the world we live in throws sex practically in our faces everyday and we might see soembody half naked or completely naked catch us off guard on tv or something, and the flesh gets super excited but I quickly ask God to remove thoose thought and images out of my head because it feeds the flesh I think. Sorry my reply is so long, lol, I could go on and on. I guess it's the writer in me lol.
Yes it's true that many Christians in Britain at any rate won't raise certain issues, issues that are deemed 'off topic' or taboo; but the curious thing is that the Bible itself mentions all kinds of things like gay sex, incest, violence, drunkenness, sexuality of all kinds; God isn't half the prude some Christians like to paint Him!!! We need to talk about all kinds of issues simply because they are a reality for people in general. Christians everywhere are often portrayed as prissy or fuddie-duddies or people who don't live in the real world but see things through rose-tinted glasses; the reality is something else.
DeleteThe Pope's resigned hey!? Maybe we need a new Pope who is younger, more in tune with the modern world and someone who we can relate to. Why not a Black pope or Filipino pope, or someone from a noticeably Working class background? Instead of the usual white Middle class super-educated old guys they usually always pick! Just a thought...
Hi Tim,
ReplyDeleteI think the worst thing any person who believes in God can say is that he or she has no sin, because then that person is saying that they can not learn anything from God, and that he or she has no need for correction. Even Paul the apostle acknowledged that he was still running the race and was eager to 'press on', and he had an intense revelation and knowledge of God's requirements. I don't believe that anyone gets away with injustice, the Bible clearly stated that we will all be judged according to what we have done, and if any of us think that they can hide from God we are mistaken. Also I as a mature woman realize how quickly the time passes,life is like a puff of smoke, and know that if I would try to do something deliberately that I know is wrong with God then my so called pleasure in it is short lived. Also though I know how loving and long suffering the Lord is, knowing that we are flesh, and this fact alone makes me want to be more like Him. I think my motto would be 'I am on the racecourse and there is no turning back' One last thing I would like to add Tim. Judging by what I see in your posts, if I was your mum I would be proud of you as a son, and would think that any young lady would be pleased to have you as her husband. That is not 'flattery' by the way as I do not believe in it.
Yes, that's really profound Brenda. We all have so much to learn from God then! I certainly do. Many of those God picked, like Paul and the would-be King David, where real men, flesh and blood, and riddle with sin; yet God straightens them out eventually. They are a lesson for us all.
DeleteYou wrote: 'if I was your mum I would be proud of you as a son, and would think that any young lady would be pleased to have you as her husband.' Thank you! My head won't get through the door now...!
Ha ha,
ReplyDeleteI'm sure the Lord will 'file it down'.
I have enjoyed reading your conversation. Just want to encourage you Sateigdra, as Tim has been doing wonderfully. Take no thought for tomorrow. Our times are in God's hands.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
Thank you Alfred for your contributions to this blog; it is always appreciated.
DeleteYou wrote: 'Take no thought for tomorrow. Our times are in God's hands.' Thank you for those timely reminders.