Once, when the world was young, we walked with God; we were simple people unsullied by ambition and desire, and the hatreds that burn up the world today. Was it all that long ago we walked innocent and free, and lived just for the smell of fresh air and the green of the grass and the trees and the simple pleasures that gave us the most happiness?
I was a simple boy from a simple family; no ambitions, no desires, no anger within me. What happened to that boy who lived long ago, what happened to his dreams if he had any that is? God came to me in my innocence, in my poverty, in my youth and answered the prayers of my heart; then I knew He existed, something existed beyond humanity and base human nature, something that would give everything meaning, a being who meant what He said and could do even more.
Did I lose Paradise when I lost myself? Did Adam lose Paradise when he became ambitious, when he became filled with desires of all kinds, when he stopped putting God first? Then men became sophisticated and civilised and urbane and cultured; then we all started hating each other, putting each other in class systems and judging each other differently because of the colour of our skin, or the way we talked or the company we kept. In becoming sophisticated and civilised, we left God behind or confined Him to churches one day a week, safely anaesthetised where He couldn’t challenge us or check our greed and stupidity and selfishness.
All those years ago, a poor city boy lived, amongst other poor people long forgotten now, simple people, people who in the great scheme of things didn’t really count, were not important, had no great dreams or ambitions to take on the world or take over the world, just content to be. At the dawn of time, Adam had the same simplicity, the same peace and contentment, but he gave it all up and made the wrong choice.
If Paradise is lost, can it ever be found again? Does God want us to live in all simplicity, childlike faith, a faith that moves mountains but that brings us what we all really want, and what we certainly need, a peace of mind that stills the troubled waters of our busy and bustling lives? Adam lost that vital relationship he had with God, and forever since all humans have lost it with Him; we have all been punished for our original ancestor’s sin. What is God’s answer? If we listen, can we hear it on the breeze? If we look can we see it in the sky in the formation of the clouds? If we ask for peace and simplicity, will God give us our heart’s desire?
In abandoning God, we have abandoned ourselves to the four winds, to fate, to chance, to the stars; we have lost our senses, and swapped what is good and life itself, for a half-life, a shadow, something which is a sham and doesn’t hold water and only leads us down false paths. In our affluence, we have abandoned God; where will we find Him again?
God calls us, softly and sweetly; can you not hear? God beckons us; can you not see Him? God is waiting, has always been waiting, for us to return, to return to our senses and to Him. Every one of us is a child of His, a spoilt and petulant child.
When God called me, I listened. I’m still listening. I lost everything before I really knew what I had, and stumbled in the wilderness of my own ignorance and stupidity. What was God trying to tell me all those years; I really don’t know. I lost Paradise; the gates were closed for me. Now they are slowly opening again, after what seems like a thousand lifetimes; I want to reacquaint myself with God, but He knows me inside out. I cry out in the night; I shout for God, and He hears me…