Saturday 27 April 2013

The One That Got Away


I have a long litany of lost loves, women that I really liked but for one reason or another, perhaps because I was too shy, never plucked the courage up to ‘chat them up’ and make a move on them, and so here I am again on my own going down the only road I’ve ever known… well, you might know the story.  Life sometimes seems full of disappointments, inevitable situations that somehow steal our joy or make us feel that we only deserve third best, or somehow we are destined for one unfortunate thing after another.  It seems so many Christians are going through trials and tribulations, and although we all know the mantra and we console ourselves with the fact that Christians will indeed suffer in this fallen and imperfect world, sometimes we get fed up with it all, we get worn out because we see no end in sight of it; then we can do one of two things: we can stick it out and lean on God, or we can drift off into the wilderness looking for something that will take our mind off our troubles. 

 


One thing I have learnt being a Christian, and that is that we are in for the long haul, not just being a Christian when things are going well but being a Christian all the time, and not just being good and respectful of others when we feel good, but all the time, and not just being nice when we go to church but every day.  I say nice, but that seems too, well, nice; perhaps I mean that we should always be considerate of other people and respect them, in the same way we hope that they are considerate of us and respect us.  Of course, sometimes you might not feel like being nice at all, but we cannot take our moods out on other people for any reason.  Yes it’s hard learning to turn the other cheek, or being pleasant when we don’t feel like it, but it teaches us to face the world and take whatever life throws at us and whatever happens.  I don’t mean that we should always pretend to be jolly and putting a false smile on our faces, but we learn to stay on an even keel as much as possible, rather than reacting badly to everything that might be a setback or a problem.

 

I noticed with women, when I was in my younger days, that if you really showed any interest in a particular woman, it went down like the plague, and often such a woman couldn’t get away from me quick enough.  On the other hand, if I played it cool, as I tend to do now, not out of vanity or anything like that just that I’m older and more mature I suppose, some women, even the nice ones, became interested.  Problem?  Yes, if I was too keen, they couldn’t get away quick enough, and if I played it cool, then I still never spoke to them!  What a conundrum; why do women act this way?  God alone knows!  I still have many issues around this topic, you know, the whole ‘lurrve’ thing, but I also think that many people do too, both men and women.  Why can we be so cruel to each other?

 


Why does God allow evil, and why often do unscrupulous people prosper ruthlessly at the expense of other people, and in general people who are nasty and have no conscience get what they want in life, while those more loving and conscientious and considerate often get side-lined and ignored?  I think sometimes that God allows rapacious people to do bad things as a lesson to the rest of us.  Why then would God allow evil?  Surely if He created everything then why does evil even appear?  I suppose there could be a number of answers to this.  If we have free will, quite simply, we can choose to do what we like, and we can choose, in the full knowledge of knowing right from wrong, to do something wrong or we can choose to do something right.  But, in the end, it is our choice.  Is it God then who allows evil to enter the world, or us?  We blame God when a plane falls from the sky, or when a hit-and-run driver kills a kid getting an ice cream, or when something doesn’t go right for us, when if we are honest it had nothing to do with God.  The plane might not have been checked due to cost cutting, the driver might have been drinking and when it is us, well everybody has setbacks in life; all we can do is pray and have faith in God.  The fact is, we can all turn a blind eye to someone else’s troubles, sorrows or suffering, or have little sympathy, until we ourselves suffer, and then of course it’s a different story altogether isn’t it?


 
Sorrow and suffering seems to follow us all at some time, and no one is free from the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.  Without God, it might not make any sense, in fact it would be like wandering through a desert and going from place to place looking for shelter and water to drink, and finding none.  With God in our lives, even the most meaningless and awful situation can be put into perspective.  Then, we might indeed be going through a desert, but we will find shelter and water.  It isn’t that God is happy to see us suffer, I think that it is just that being human, we will all suffer at some time or other.  The Christian answer to the reality that we all suffer is certainly that we don’t add to anyone’s troubles, but that we should help the other person if we can.  I might add, that we should not add to our own troubles either, or wallow in self-pity either; I have found in life that there is always someone worse off than me.  What God wants for us as believers is perhaps that we stay on an even keel, and we learn to stay physically, emotionally and spiritually sound whatever happens to us in life, good or bad.  Equilibrium.  Balance.  That’s what we need.

12 comments:

  1. Lovely post Tim,
    in order to even know what is good and what is evil we have to come to know God's ways, which are vastly different from ours. Mankind has made its own declaration of independence from God and set up its own charter of what is good and what is evil.

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    1. Thank you Brenda. I agree with you; no matter how 'good' a person is or thinks they are, there is a vast gulf beween a human's 'goodness' and God's awesome and holy goodness.

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  2. Dear Tim,
    I was single until I was 47 years old when I married in 1999. What I had found so discouraging was back in the early 1970s when I passed a school classmate pushing a pram with the little one inside stirring - and back then I still lived with my parents.
    I too wondered why girls at the time did not find me attractive, until very recently when during a psychological assessment, I discovered that I had Asbergers Syndrome, a form of autism. I could see how girls sensed that something was not right about me and walked, even ran away whenever I turned to their direction. Believe me, this was very intimidating and humiliating when a group of girls ran, literally screaming, from me, although this was harsh teasing, not running in genuine fright.
    So I can understand what you are going through, Tim and having gone through all that in my younger days, I can't help but feel somewhat sympathetic for you.
    But please don't get me wrong. I am in no way suggesting that you have Asbergers. Rather, I admire you professional writing and I admit, I envy your huge pageview number compared to mine.
    As for watching wicked people prospering, I have seen of this before. We have a friend in Heaven, other than Jesus, who is Job, who when he was alive, asked exactly the same questions you have asked.
    An excellent blog.

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    1. You wrote: 'I was single until I was 47 years old when I married in 1999. I too wondered why girls at the time did not find me attractive, until very recently when during a psychological assessment, I discovered that I had Asbergers Syndrome, a form of autism. I could see how girls sensed that something was not right about me and walked, even ran away whenever I turned to their direction.' People, I have found, can be horrible, and what to them seems 'just a giggle' can for the person who the joke is on be at worst devastating. I was considered very bright at school, but throughout my life I have been slow to catch onto things that other so-called less intelligent people did; I don't think I have Asbergers but I understand that we are all individuals and are all complex and have quirks and idiosyncracies that we can't explain.

      You wrote: 'I admire you professional writing and I admit, I envy your huge pageview number compared to mine.' Well, I admire your writing for sheer ability to captivate me and keep me reading. It is nice to have people reading your blog but you still have a large number of hits too. And you have far more followers than me! ;~)

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  3. When it comes to life here on earth the only advantage we Christians have over non-Christians is that whatever we go through, we don't have to do it alone. We have God. Imagine a world by this day and age where Christ had never even entered the scene as of yet. Where laws and nations and people had never been influenced in any way by Christ or Christianity. Oh, how dark and dreadful then!

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    1. Hi Barbara. You wrote: '...the only advantage we Christians have over non-Christians is that whatever we go through, we don't have to do it alone. We have God.' Ain't that the truth! We have someone who understands completely what we are going through, understands rejection, understands completely being misunderstood, understands what it's like to be hated and despised for absolutely no reason at all. And often, it's some of His biggest followers who do all these things to Him, and yet He forgives us.

      It would indeed be a dark and dreadful world without the light of God shining through the fog of human greed and human malice and human evil.

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  4. Hi Tim,
    The matters of the heart are complicated and can be very painful. Since I really don't know your situation I don't feel I am unqualified to truly comment here but what the Lord is saying I will share. My thoughts are drawn to Paul... 1 Corinthians 7:8 But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I.

    Praying for your broken heart.

    Blessings,
    <><

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    1. You wrote: 'The matters of the heart are complicated and can be very painful.' Yes indeed they can; if we like someone and feel rejected by them, it is painful no matter who we are and what we believe. No one likes the pain of rejection because it is the most personal thing we can experience; we are being rejected, simple as that. And romance between men and women is a minefield, we can all play mind games and the reality is that if someone like us and we don't fancy them, in some way we also reject too. I have been hurt many times by women, and yet I have always felt that women found me attractive, even though I'm not George Clooney. For men and women who aren't particularly attractive, they can feel even worse. It was bad enough for me. I guess now I have to be philosophical about it, as you can't change the past you can only learn from it. Your prayers are most welcome.

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  5. I agree with everything you said on here Tim, especially when you said what you think God expects of us. "What God wants for us as believers is perhaps that we stay on an even keel, and we learn to stay physically, emotionally and spiritually sound whatever happens to us in life, good or bad. Equilibrium. Balance. That’s what we need." Amen to that. If there is no balance you will fall.

    You spoke about being in a desert and not finding water, is what it's like living without God and living with Him we will find water. A scripture comes to mind from one of my favorite books in the Bible, Isaiah 43:19-21 nkjv. "Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. The beasts of the field will honor Me, the Jackals and the Ostriches, because I give waters in the wilderness and rivers in the desert, to give drink to My people, My chosen. This people I have formed for Myself; they shall declare My praise. "

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  6. You wrote: 'If there is no balance you will fall.' That's very witty and incredibly profound and perceptive Sateigdra. I never thought of that!

    You wrote: 'You spoke about being in a desert and not finding water, is what it's like living without God and living with Him we will find water.' Absolutely true. My life is a mess at the moment with God as my anchor; all my fault not His. Without God in my life, I shudder to think where I would be.

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  7. I like the way that you present the issue, the questions that we all ask and take a hard look at, then come to logical, yet spiritual, conclusions concerning God and our life here. It's all biblical based, yet the verses are explained, not quoted. Excellent post Tim.

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    1. Thank you Brian, your comment is very much appreciated and very welcome. As you can see, because I ask hard questions but don't pretend to have the answers, I tend to get a good readership on my blog and always get very good comments too. I think in everything, if we are merely honest, we might just get to some truth.

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