Sunday, 28 July 2013

In From the Storm

It sometimes seems as if all of my life I have been running from something, but if you asked me what exactly, I really couldn’t tell you.  At many times I have felt troubled, disappointed, let down by so many people and constantly experiencing inevitably depressing things.  I mean that I have been so used to failing at things that it has become almost part of my character sadly.  There have been things in my past that have affected me, perhaps more than I realise, and yet I had a pretty happy and peaceful childhood for the most part. 


Alongside all of this, I have a calling on my life from God and at times I have heeded that call and at many other times I just haven’t, it is as simple as that.  I have never lived as a regular Christian because I was not churched and nor do I come from a Christian background or community and have never been to a church as a part of a believing group so it has just been me and God.

Sometimes, and at the moment, it seems I have been on the end of emotional distress that isn’t helped by other negative things in my life.  I pray, and it feels like I am not heard.  So I sulk at God, and won’t talk to Him because He seems not to answer me.  Then I feel abandoned, storm tossed, and thoroughly miserable.  Not a great place to be, to be honest.

Compared to some people, I haven’t had a terrible life, and perhaps compared to others I have suffered badly at times.  There are issues in my life that need dealing with, anger issues, issues of low self-worth and issues from the past that keep coming up to haunt me.  I said things to people that I now bitterly regret and did things, few of real evil intent, that I now regret also.  However, there are no human beings out there who I harmed in any real way, no one who would bear me ill will for anything I have done, just want to make that clear.  It’s mostly an accumulation of things from the past that trouble me.


"In From The Storm" (by Jimi Hendrix)

Well i, I just came back today...
I just came back from the storm.
I said: "i just came back, baby...
I just came back from the storm.
Yeah, from the storm.
Well, I didn't know it then,
But I was sufferin', sufferin'
For my love to keep me warm.
It was so cold and lonely, yeah.
The wind 'n' cryin' blue rain
Were tearing me up.
It was so cold and lonely.
The crying blue rain was tearing me up.
Oh, tearing me up.
I wanna thank you my sweet darling
For digging in the mud and picking me up.
Thank you so much!

It was a terrible rain that was burning my eyes.
It was you my love who brought me in.
I love you so much,
I'll never stray from you again.

I just came back baby.
I just came back to get my baby on her way.
Yeah, yeah.

On your own day of ordeal God will remember you: like frost in sunshine, your sins will melt away.  (Ecclesiasticus / Sirach 3:15 NJB)


  1. Dear Tim,
    I can identify in many of your ups and downs you have experienced throughout your life. And through these experiences, I have found that throughout my days as a single person, I too was prone to be more emotionally unstable.
    I have seen this in other people too, male friends who I have known for years. One has suffered a separation after only a short spell of marriage, and I have seen him lately becoming very depressed. I have other friends who I knew as far back as the 1970s and have never married. They tend to see life through very negative glasses as well, like I did when I was single myself.
    Maybe it has a lot to do with gender.
    Single females, a few I also knew well, seemed to have coped with their status in a far more positive attitude, whether it's climbing the career ladder, being devoted to spiritual things or chasing some other pursuit. I think we males have the need of that one thing which is more important than anything else - a relationship.
    Having a relationship with God through faith in Christ is fine; I have been a Christian myself since 1973. But God is invisible, intangible - and when praying, I find myself talking in an empty room without as much as hearing a pin drop for an answer. My emotions as a married man has been a lot more stable, although of course, still far from perfect - as they ever would achieve perfection this side of the grave.
    Two things I wish for you, Tim. Three is even better - A good relationship with God, a chance to succeed in your writing and to find that special person who will love you as you are.
    God bless,

  2. Hi Tim,
    I wasn't sure whether I could comment or not on this post, but all I can say is that the 'church'is God's Spiritual Israel, not a building and all the Lord requires us to do is 'believe on Him (He is the Word of God) and be baptized.' Everything else automatically follows from the teaching of the Holy Spirit. God bless.

  3. I kind of share the same feelings Brenda does. Just hang in there Tim. We all will have trial and tribulation, but the Lord said we ought to be of good cheer, He has overcome the world.John 16:33 kjv. These words give me comfort in my many sad times, I hope it does the same for you. I was having trouble finding that scripture you shared, I thought that word meant Ecclesiastes so I checked it up in Ecclesiastes but it's not there. What is that you shared at the end?

  4. Thanks for all the comments folks. Frank, yeah I would like to meet someone but it's not easy at all to be honest. Brenda, I need to remember your words. Sateigdra, it's Ecclesiasticus a whole different book from Ecclesiastes! I always get them mixed up too and I suspect many people do!

  5. Tim,
    the only reason I am going to ask this question is that I care about you having the fullness of what God has to give. You don't have to answer it if the answer is 'no', only give thought to it. Have you been baptised? I felt to ask because of the importance of it. Jesus says that he who believes and is baptised shall be saved, and He also says 'If you love me keep my commands'. You don't have to be baptised in a building, another believer can do it for you, but it is an essential requirement of the Lord. God bless you Tim.

  6. In what book can a person find "Ecclesiasticus", it's not a book int the Bible, where is it from? I ask because I came across this several times different places and every time I think they meant Ecclesiastes.

  7. The Apocrypha Sateigdra. It means 'Hidden things'.

  8. Thanks for all the comments folks.